Dissed.

The latest non-story broiling at NewsOK.com is the perceived slight against Kevin Durant by whoever schedules the NBA's nationally televised games. The Thunder has (have?) only one nationally televised appearance this year, on ESPN. Three if you count NBATV games as "nationally televised", and apparently some of them do. But either way, this is an appalling lack of national exposure for one of the league's marquee franchises and for one of its most prominent stars. The only possible explanation is this: KD is being disrespected on a massive scale.

If you weren't aware, some say Kevin Durant is as good as, and possibly (probably?) better than, LeBron James. This debate has been gaining steam lately and there doesn't seem to be anyone who can answer it definitively. Yet the Cavs have 25 nationally televised games this year to the Thundermen's one. NO. FAIR. All I know is: the LeBrons went to the second round in his third year and Kevin Durant is the greatest player of all time to have never won more than 23 games in a season. So look out league, the Oklahoman's turning this fairly obvious, routine business decision into locker room fodder. It's like, what have you done for me lately, NBA? Don't you read blogs? We're cult faves over here. We're the Boondock Saints of the NBA. Your friends tell you that you totally have to see this movie, then you do, and it fucking sucks like nothing you've ever seen. What I'm saying is you should at least release our games on DVD box set.

So if the league is sitting on the current LeBron James in OKC, why won't they show the world? While it's probably a league-wide conspiracy, it might also be because of this report by Sports Business Journal, who compiled the local TV ratings from NBA markets over the course of last season. Apparently they can do that.

"Another disappointment came in Oklahoma City, where an average of just 8,000 homes watched Thunder games on Fox Sports Oklahoma, even though this season was the team’s first in the market."

Disappointment? Don't you mean "unqualified success"?

Yes, Kevin Durant was only seen by an average of 8,000 households per game, the second-worst figure in the NBA. The former LeBron drew 134,000 households on average locally. I find this statistic interesting because every time you go to a Thunder game, you are literally looking at a majority of Thunder fans in existence. It would seem that if anyone were disrespecting Kevin Durant it's Oklahoma City, which is an idea so patently absurd it makes me want to laugh out loud and then swallow hard and get very quiet. Durant has even inspired his own extremely FD t-shirt with his face on a milk carton:
But Durant is a Nike man, and the new LeBron, so something like this might be more appropriate:

Jerry Brewer kinda, sorta misses the mark

Judging by the comments, I'd say Jerry Brewer doesn't exactly have his finger on the pulse of the Seattle sports scene.

Great work though, Jerry. I agree that NBA franchises should be awarded based on who has the nicest waitresses and whether or not you have friends in the area.

"I still think the market is too small for long-term NBA success unless the Thunder becomes a perennial contender. Nevertheless, I'm now convinced that Oklahoma City deserves an NBA franchise."

Damn, that chick must have been pretty hot for you to come up with some logic like that. Now that you mention it, I remember trying to order some food in Seattle one time and a waitress was like, "Hey aren't you that douchebag everybody hates?" What a bitch. I guess big cities just don't have any nice people, right? That's why I think the Knicks should move to Winfield, Kansas where my Aunt lives. That woman is a saint.

Congrats

We'd like to join Chinese basketball fans and American corporations alike in congratulating 2009 Kobe Bryant for an amazing season and for finally winning the NBA's ultimate prize: the Finals MVP Trophy. Congratulations as well go to the Lakers, and to Pau Gasol for being good enough to win a title yet not charismatic enough to command too much limelight. Well played.

But we would also like to extend our congratulations to the Daily Thunder, who just yesterday claimed an NBA title of their very own:

"Something I was thinking about - The Lakers claim 15 titles. Five of those titles came while they were the Minneapolis Lakers. So if that counts, then I’m ready and fully willing to take that 1979 NBA title and count it. I didn’t feel right about it before, but seeing as one of the greatest sports franchises ever is doing it, I guess it is alright."

Well, I can't argue with his reasoning. I wonder why he felt wrong about it in the first place. Not sure exactly what he means when he says he's gonna "count it" all of a sudden, and how that might alter his interpretation of actual events. What does that mean on a practical level? Is he just gonna start pretending that the 1979 title was won by a team in OKC named the Thunder? Because that's what I do now and it's awesome. I just repeated it over and over to myself enough times to the point that I now literally believe it to be true. Now I brag about it to all my idiot friends. I'm all, "welcome to TitleTown USA, chumps!" and then I start feeling really great about myself. There's just a certain level of pride that comes with acquiring a team that won a title 20 years ago in another state before you cared about basketball. You can't buy that type of feeling, except, I suppose, in this case. But only a precious few will ever know my joy. And to think, all you haters said we couldn't do it! What's up now haters?

Here's a few old photos I found of the celebration, back when Mike Baldwin's mustache was current:

The Lakers are hungry

Kevin Durant Goes Off Message

During a recent live chat on ESPN.com, Kevin Durant had this unfortunate exchange:

Parker (Memphis, TN): Hey Kevin, How has the adjustment been from Seattle to Oklahoma City? Which do you view more as an "NBA city"?

Kevin Durant: I think the toughest thing is moving everything from Seattle. With Seattle having a team for so long, I think they are more of an NBA city. But the fans in Oklahoma City are great.

I think what he meant to say is that Oklahoma City is a basketball mecca with an allure that was simply too great for any owner to resist. It is a small, quiet town with nice people that enjoy sports. In America, it is completely unique in that regard.

Quote of the Week

From Stuart Scott, during halftime of the May 10 Rockets-Lakers game:

"We mistakenly said the elbow thrown by Kobe Bryant was to the neck area. It was not. The league clearly said the elbow was thrown to the chest area, not the neck."

Wow, it must be cool to have the league office do all your thinking for you. What's good, critical thought?


BONUS: Here is a list of things Stuart Scott has actually said on the air, apparently in reference to sports. You will not be disappointed. The best part is that you can click on the quotes and the author will actually explain the context and origin of each one. Among my favorites:

"I put the bat up on that pitch, and I hit, I hit, I hit."

"Who 'dat? It's just my baby's daddy."

"Stop. Drop. Shut 'em down. Open up shop."

"Wow! That one's as hardcore as the Wu-Tang Clan on steroids!"

"Michael, Michael, Michael, can't you see. Sometimes your threes just hypnotize me."

10 Minute Silence

In a shocking twist, the Washington State legislature failed to vote on SB 6116 Sunday night, although there remains talk of a special session. Look how nervous I am.

Maybe if I wasn't the only person on Earth who gave a shit about what Jenni Carlson had to say more of you would have seen this coming. Here she is laying waste to Seattle politicians while managing to sound like one of those kids reviewing a book on reading rainbow. It's pretty darn excruciating.

SOS

It has come to our attention that SonicsCentral.com is commanding its legion of unwashed urban farmers to call their local representatives in support of Bill 6116. Be warned, Thunder fans.

Also, if you are a Seattleite, I would humbly suggest that you not do this, because then I might have to pay $30 million to the City of Seattle, and I would hate that. I've got mouths to feed.

However, do continue to stay glued to your TVs for the thrilling, 2-month long conclusion to the NBA season. Anything can happen and you don't want to miss it. Where will amazing happen this year? Will the NBA continue to care about things? Is basketball just a game? Or sometimes, is it more? Much more? Who will face off in the Finals? Will it be the Cavs and the Lakers? Yeah probably.

Post-racial humor

The one good thing about Obama being President is that racism is now a thing of the past. As such, I am now free to share my unique brand of racially charged humor with the world without fear of repercussion. So if I ever have any wry observations about Pakistanis or anorexic black teenagers I no longer have to bite my tongue. Then my son can go ahead and post them on his Facebook page for the world to enjoy:


Hahaha no but seriously those chicks were broke.

UPDATE:

• Daulerio finds photographic confirmation @ Deadspin.
• Ziller via The Sporting Blog: "Clay Bennett thinks your cheerleaders look absolutely hilarious"
• SPORTS by BROOKS: "Claycism"
• Supersonicsoul: "Whoops"
  
• Damon Agnos, Seattle Weekly: "Clay Bennett Gets His Don Imus On"
• David Goldstein via HorsesAss.Org: "Feet of Clay: Insert Directly in Mouth"
• Via cantstopthebleeding.com's Racism Corner