Smurf all over my smurfs.

Another day, another aesthetic triumph. The Thunder unveiled their new uniforms during Media Day yesterday to an overwhelmingly positive reception by the staff of the Oklahoman. I don't read any other news outlets, but I can only assume the rest of the nation was equally impressed. I know PJ Carlesimo was:

"Clay talked about respecting the heritage of the NBA by keeping it clean and classy. They did a good job."

Thanks PJ. If there's one job I do better than making logos, it's respecting the heritage of the NBA. I put a lot of deep, compassionate thinking into these uniforms; just listen to this peppy blonde chick interview the Oklahoman's resident style expert:



Did you hear that folks? That lady talked to a color expert, and the color expert told her that white is going to attract "a lot of attention." Holy shit I'm glad we thought of it then. Brace yourselves for a tidal wave of publicity, Thunder fans, white home unis have arrived.


Now on to the road unis. I think the offical name for the color is "Expansion Team Blue". She kinda lost me for a minute there because I'm no color expert myself, and the discussion becomes very dense and theoretical, but I'll try to break it down. Blue is 'dependable' like the sky, because the sky won't fall, even though sometimes times get tough, and also it's very loyal. That's so weird because whenever I think about this franchise, "stability" and "loyalty" are the two words I think of. But also blue is "powerful" like a bright blue Oklahoma sky with fluffy white nimbus clouds where some of them look like animals, and so you're feeling all loyal and stable and then suddenly you see the red-orange trim and you're energized. You're fuckin' psyched right now. Oh but wait, there's also yellow trim, so mostly you're just energized about how nice and friendly everyone is in Oklahoma City, and you're thinking about picnics and clouds and how much positive energy that blonde chick in the yellow shirt had, and yeah she stumbled over her words in the beginning but she seems totally cool and reminds you of that popular girl in high school who still talked to the ugly chicks, and maybe you guys could hang out sometime and talk color theory. Just take things slow. But then Kevin Durant fucking dunks on your head.


And so it was that Media Day finally answered the question on everyone's mind, which was apparently:

'What would happen if Papa Smurf banged Rainbow Brite?'


So you can all go home now, unless you want to stick around and listen to Darnell Mayberry ask Robert Swift what all of his tattoos mean. Probably a one-man job, though. Hey, everybody loved those teal Pistons jerseys right?

People love me. (updated x 2)

Maybe it was my electrifying performance at the logo unveiling, or maybe it was the way I cut my sideburns extra negative today. Whatever the reason, people love me:

• Ball Don't Lie: "Upside and Motor is right, and Rebecca Lobo agrees: Whoever is in charge of photoshoppin' duties at this new Oklahoma City blog — Bend It Like Bennett — is at least as good, if not better than whoever designed the real Thunder logo.
• Hardwood Paroxysm: "I don't know what's the most awesome: the name, the writing, or the photoshop work. Add to RSS Readers, immediately, hordes."
• Deadspin!
• Supersonicsoul: "I hope the OKC fans embrace this brilliant "web 2.0" peek into their new franchise...Best wishes to them, and their sharp-witted, irony-proof citizenry."
• And One: "This is brilliant...Unless, of course, they're serious, in which case all is lost."
• Upside and Motor: "Another big-time blog for OKC. The name is ridiculously great, and whoever is photoshopping over there is at least as good, if not better than whoever designed the real Thunder logo."
• World Hoops Blog: "Greatest name for a blog, ever. Peep Friday's post going Lampoon on the new OKC logo. Me likes lots."
• Red's Army
• Oklahoma City BBall: " I wonder if this guy is even from OKC. Seems just like a covert Seattle fan. But regardless, they can eat it."
• NBA Fanhouse: "Every team needs a snarky, pessimistic blog to offer dystopic viewpoints about ... well, everything. The Thunder can fill in this bubble now."
• Sports Illustrated
  

True to form, Darnell Mayberry has yet to comment.

Logo Reaction!

Reaction from the interwebs...

Not WNBA

Our logo seems to look a lot like that of the WNBA's New York Liberty...



Down to the exact curvature of the triangle. Is that weird?

Introducing the Thunder OKC!

Yesterday we revealed our name, logo and colors to the handful of people without internet access and Damien Wilkins.

The logo is the result of a three month design-by-committee expedition to the outer limits of Microsoft Paint. We were somehow able to seamlessly unite the imagery of 'Thunder' with the color scheme of an "Oklahoma Sunset", the Oklahoma state flag, and clown shoes. Then we put a basketball in a triangle. And added two random lines to lower wind resistance, which I feel is pretty sharp. Finally, we added "Thunder" above this amalgam of half-formed thoughts and changed the font to what appears to be Mekanik LET Plain. First Prize.

Basically the name, color scheme and logo combine to create a unique fan experience: first you're indimidated, then reassured, then confused, then bored, then bewildered and finally indifferent. Needless to say, it flew off the shelves.

Oh shit is it too late to change my mind on Thunder??

Criss Angel was once in our shoes. He needed a name for his new show that reflected how hip, edgy and major-league he was. That name was "Mindfreak", and it was a homerun. And because Criss Angel has both a Jesus complex and a penchant for mascara/crying, he can simultaneously appeal to OKC's conservative Christian core and their disaffected emo children. He's a marketing savant. In the 90's Toronto was wise enough to latch itself to the Jurassic Park hysteria, so perhaps OKC should do the same with today's cultural phenomenon: Mindfreak.

This name could work because 1) like Wind, Energy and Thunder it is singular, and 2) it comes ready with it's own theme music. Plus it is instantly the most intimidating name in the NBA, or for that matter, all of sports. Introducing your Oklahoma City MINDFREAK! Are you ready?

Because OKC is known for its thunder.

Whenever I tell people I'm from OKC, I always get the same question: "So, Oklahoma City, huh? Oklahoma? Hmmm. Neat. That's uh, that's great. So...how's the uh, how's the weather this time of year?" Exactly. People are just entranced by our world famous cloud patterns and shit. So it's a perfect fit for a name. And unfortunately, "Professional Basketball Club" was already taken.

Kevin Durant is a Thunder.

The marketing geniuses that came up with YardDawgz have done it again. Behold the Thunder, OKC's very own NBA merchandising operation. Favorite son Berry Tramel was quick to expound on the virtually limitless marketing opportunities available. ThunderWear anyone?

David Stern had two criteria for selecting the name:

1) Is it inoffensive enough to inspire league-wide indifference?
and 2)Is it something that currently exists in every city in the United States, Europe and Asia, easing the transition for the team's next relocation? Yes on both counts. Yet the PBC was able to successfully lobby for a third criterion: Can we incorporate Garth Brooks and/or AC/DC into the intros? You better believe it. Stay tuned for our logo which will most likely be some sort of menacing cloud, possibly with a Lakitu emerging from the top.