Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Don't panic, Thunder fans. Stay with me. I got this. I GOT THIS. Your boy Clay is on top of this shit right here. Don't you bail on me, don't you dare goddammit. Are you reading this, Darnell? You fucking Judas, you. You like your job don't you? You like getting paid to watch NBA games and then spend ten minutes writing piddling observations for money, right? I thought so. Oklahoman writers wanna get tough now, huh? "Get used to the cellar"? What is that shit? That kind of talk does not move merchandise. "9 win season"? Thanks for the history lesson. Here's another bit of recent history for you to chew on, smart guy:
Sucks to get clowned by Berry Tramel. And now I got John Rohde writing "Shame on the Thunder". Cute. I'm about 2 seconds from walking up into that building and cleaning house.
Everyone needs to chill the fuck out. We're right where we want to be. The rebuilding plan is working to absolute perfection. The future's so bright I have to wear Ray-Bans when I'm sitting courtside. I need some SPF 50 just to write Robert Swift's check.
Yeah we're 2-20. Yeah. Good one. So what? Are you saying you want to fight me? Say something else, I am 100% not fucking around anymore. Dudes, that was a tough game tonight against a formidable opponent, and we came up short, that's all. We faced a quality 5-15 team riding a nine-game losing streak and missing their three best players. At home. And were down by as many as 21 to a team that lost by 35 two days ago. And we couldn't pull it out despite 41 points from Kevin Durant. No big deal. You win some, you lose some. You play games with the team you have, not the team you may want or wish to have at a later time. Don Rumsfeld. The fans don't care about wins and losses, they just like watching a bunch of back-ups fuck around for 48 minutes. Plus the season-ticket holders already wrote their checks. Money talks. The fans were like, "I want to give you my hard-earned money so you can give it to Chris Wilcox. Keep some for yourself, too." Done.
We also had our lowest attendance to date, with a reported 17,854 in the stands. But that's neither here nor there.
But don't worry everyone, Mike Baldwin said that the team would go 8-7 in December due to how weak the schedule is. So far we're 0-4. Guess that means we're looking at an 8-3 run. Get your tickets Boomer fans! They're like $3 on Craigslist.