Sunday, November 23, 2008

"A team OKC would sell its soul for"



Berry Tramel calls the Hornets "a team Oklahoma City would sell it's soul for." Can't argue with that.

The Thunder just played back-to-back games against OKC's "first love" and "old flame" etc, etc. The team OKC actually wanted.

Extending this analogy, I'd say the Hornets are like that underrated girl in high school that went through a really rough patch at home and started acting out and slumming with some dude who really shouldn't have had a realistic shot at her. But then she eventually got things turned around and went off to college and stopped returning his calls. Now he just stalks her on Facebook. Meanwhile the dude kept hanging out at high school parties after graduation trying to bang chicks from the drill team. Eventually he found someone but she's pretty young and they don't really have all that much in common or anything to talk about, so mostly he just spends his time watching college football. And everyone keeps comparing him to her ex-boyfriend. I guess she's pretty decent looking. She's like a 7, but she's one of those girls that wears a lot of make-up and Tiffany's jewelry, so whatever. Plus now that they're engaged she sort of stopped trying and just hangs out in her sweatpants and retainer all day. Then one day the girl's back home for Thanksgiving and they see each other at a party and dude tries his best to make her think things are going really well with him and the new girl, but, yeah it's kind of obvious their relationship is pretty forced. Now all he can do is fantasize about her while he's making out with Damien Wilkins.

It's a little hard to compete with all this Hornets-love going on. Even Royce from the Thunderworld wonders if "Maybe we should have waited three more years and made a play for the Hornets."

Well, all I can say is gee, sorry I didn't get you the right color Range Rover, OKC. I guess you'll just have to settle for this other NBA team I brought you to quench your ravenous blood lust. I know it's not much, but I actually had to do a lot of things I'm not very proud of to get it for you--like sacrifice my honor and reputation -- so, you know, the least you could do is stay to watch for four quarters. At least while ESPN's here. Because there are about a billion NBA fans in China that would love to watch Earl Watson and Russell Westbrook try to run an offense, but they have to settle for stuffing the All-Star ballot for Yi Jianlian. That guy's gonna have a ridiculous resume someday.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

ford center needs a tiara night for sure. you're sweet sixteen analogy works because the in-game entertainment is actually being coordinated by a team of 15-17 year olds with clipboards and wine coolers. fact.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I can't believe you settled on a litte team from Seattle. A major league city like OKC deserves one of two teams; the Lakers or the Celtics. Anything less is beneath the people of the great country fried chicken shaped state of Oklahoma.

Anonymous said...

It never ceases to amaze me that OKC thinks it can just have whatever it wants. For example, we just wait 3 years and then get the Hornets. What the fuck is that all about? How many of you people have ever been to New Orleans? OKC isn't half the city that NOLA is. It's too bad George Shinn is King Hillbilly and seemingly would prefer to be in a hillbilly town where he can be perceived as GOD because a real city won't cut him that opportunity. When he "hosted" the All Star Game last season, his fellow owners told him, "George, do not move this team." It's a shame that George can't see what the other owners immediately saw. So I wonder when OKC will be getting an All Star Game? Let me know when that happens. Better yet, have that d'bag Jenny Carlso give me a call at 1-800-eat-shit!

Anonymous said...

can't wait for darnell's latest masterpiece to drop...

Anonymous said...

At least PJ's firing came between games the ever faithful and supportive Thunder fans could cheer for their beloved Hornets some more! Clay, you should give PJ and Presti bonuses for perfectly crafting a team no one would care about because you thought you'd be stuck in Seattle for another two seasons. You're little rebuilding project is ahead of schedule now!

The David said...

OKC can't sell their soul for the Hornets. They've already sold it once. To me. For the team they have right now.

I keep their soul in box under my bed, and I take it out and play with it when I get depressed over the mess I've made of the NBA. I cheers me up.

Anonymous said...

Best article ever!!!

I love how OKC thinks it's on par with New Orleans. Even after Katrina New Orleans is light years better than OKC. Anyone want to go to OKC for vacation? A convention? How about just a night out? Didn't think so.

I suppose OKC thinks they can have what they want. They want the hornets, have at it. How about the St Louis Cathedral? Want Bourbon Street? Maybe we can do some work and give you the port and Mississippi River. There is no reason OKC can't have what it wants. LOLOLOLOLOL

OKC finally has a pro franchise to call their own and they can't wait to get rid of it. Priceless. Best fans in the NBA!!!