The Clayton Bennett Guide to Success

Here in OKC, we’re not just building a team, we’re building a culture. A culture built on integrity, character, family values, traditional marriage, protecting the unborn, restructuring corporate tax codes, and professionalism. And winning. Part of achieving success on and off the court is maintaining a sharp outward appearance but not, like, in the metrosexual way. It’s often said that one should dress for the job they want, not the job they have. That’s why people would take one look at me and know I was destined to become a P.E. teacher, Army recruiter, NBA owner.


People wanting to achieve success in life need only follow my personal grooming standards, put forth in this handy diagram:


Simply set your clippers to zero, place them just above the ear at anywhere between 30 and 45 degrees, depending on how bulbous your head is, and etch a harsh, drastic line into your temple. Remove all hair below this line.

David Stern's dress code may indeed be visionary, but doesn't go far enough for my taste. Just look at these before and after shots showing how the Clay Bennett method can either enhance or completely transform your image: