If you're familiar with our ownership group, then you've no doubt been captivated by our commitment to excellence and winning. Reflecting upon the overwhelming success of the recent troop surge, we decided to implement the Paul Bremer Greenzone Model for Winning in hiring our own execs. First up, our new Entertainment Coordinator.
Not only did he help the Odessa Jackalopes to a single successful off-season of in-game entertainment but he also brings a diverse tribal Polynesian perspective to the organization. We anticipate this quick learner (an undergrad less than 5 months ago) to hit the ground running and we're comfortable his brand of entertainment is consistent with where the NBA's is trending. In addition, this kid is a born winner. Hey Nick Collison, stop crying about "uprooting families" or whatever and sponge this shit:
This is the type of winning attitude required when entering your first year in the league. Now bite your tongue. Bite iiit.